Q: My 11-year-old son has a terrible temper. At least once a week, when he goes out to play with the neighbor kids, he ends up getting mad and storming off. He doesn’t physically hurt anyone, but he yells and says mean things, like calling them stupid or cheaters. Sometimes he throws or breaks things–even his own stuff. He always feels bad and apologizes afterward. How do I help him manage his anger?
We can never go wrong by reaching first for empathy. Start by listening and acknowledging your child’s frustration. It will be easier for your son to move past his anger when he believes you’ve heard and understood what he’s going through.
Effective anger management happens well before the explosion. You’ve described the big blow-up at the end, but I’m wondering, what happens before that?
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Once your son feels heard, then there are three broad areas to think about to help him understand his anger and figure out how to cope: