You keep asking and nothing changes

When something isn't working, make it easier.

Jun 25, 2026

You’ve asked your child to clean their room. Not once. Not twice. It’s now five times in the same day. You’re this close to losing it.

Every time you ask, again, your child grunts and says, “I know!” You even get an eyeroll. Do they know? Wouldn’t it be done if they knew?

Here's one thing worth thinking about: you have a complete picture of what "clean room" means. Your child might just see an overwhelming wall of stuff with no idea where to start. Sometimes the ask isn't the problem, the size of it is. "Pick up trash first" gives them a place to start.

That connects to something I see all the time in my practice. Parents come in and tell me, “Every night it’s the same thing. We tell him to go upstairs and get ready for bed, and 45 minutes later, he’s taken off one sock.”

I ask, “Every night?”

“Yes, every night.”

“Is there ever an exception?”

“No, never.”

And I say, “Well, apparently that plan isn’t working.”

When something isn’t working, the answer usually isn’t more force. It’s making it easier for your child to do the thing in the first place.

You’re working with their momentum instead of against it.

That's the heart of my self-paced, online course, Turn Kids' Disrespect into Connection and Cooperation.