The fantasy of the perfect put-down

Podcast Parent Note, Ep. 78

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The fantasy of the perfect put-down: Podcast Parent Note, Ep. 78

I’m not one of those people who can come up with a perfect zinger, on the spot, to put someone in their place.

I’m usually pretty even-tempered. I don’t often get angry, but when I’m furious (e.g., with smug and uncurious “healthcare” providers…but I digress!), I sometimes spend an embarrassing amount of time and effort fuming and fantasizing about what I could say to that so-and-so to take them down!!!

Fortunately, I very rarely act on those fantasies because…they’re dumb.

While there’s a certain malicious satisfaction in crafting, with precise vocabulary and razor-edged prosody, the most exquisitely eviscerating remarks I can imagine, it’s just not useful (or kind) to say them aloud.

Cutting remarks, however witty, are unlikely to cause someone to admit their wrongdoing, collapse in remorse, and beg forgiveness. The harsher the criticism the more likely people are to respond defensively, aggressively, or dismissively.

In this week’s Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic podcast episode, I tackled the issue of how to confront a friend. Hint: it’s not about coming up with zingers!

Here’s the link to the podcast episode, in case you missed it:

Ep. 78: How to Confront a Friend

A “take them down!” approach is destructive and likely to lead to escalation, but so is simmering in silent resentment.

Here are some ideas about how you can help your child confront a friend in a healthy and productive way.