Help your kid cope with competition: Podcast Parent Note, Ep. 75
A toe-by-toe approach to teaching your child to handle winning and losing.
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Help your kid cope with competition: Podcast Parent Note, Ep. 75
In this week’s Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic podcast episode, Alex asks how to handle things when he feels upset about losing a game.
Here’s the link to the podcast episode, in case you missed it:
Many children have trouble coping with winning and losing. They gloat and brag when they win. They cheat or argue about changing the rules to try to make sure they win. They cry, sulk, or accuse others of cheating if they lose. They quit in the middle of a game if things aren’t going their way. I’ve also seen kids who are afraid to compete because they don’t want to be “mean” by beating anyone.
As children move through elementary school, games with rules become an increasingly important part of their play. Among seven-year-olds, about 10% of their playground time involves playing games with rules, while 11-year-olds spend about 40% of their time doing this (Humphreys & Smith, 1984). Games with rules may play an important role in supporting children’s intellectual, social, and moral development (Whitebread et al. 2017).
If your child struggles to cope with competitive games, you may be able to ease them into learning to cope with winning and losing. Here’s a step-by-step guide you can use to help your child learn to cope with the big emotions that come up in competitive games. You can use as many or as few steps as your child needs. The goal is not to prevent strong feelings but to have your child experience that they are tolerable and temporary.