(Would you rather read? A TRANSCRIPT is at the bottom of this post.)
New Friendship League episode!
Dr. Friendtastic’s Friendship League is made up of adults who care about kids and have volunteered to share with you about a friendship rough spot they faced as a kid plus a kind thing a friend did for them.
In this episode, Josh Martin, who is the voice of Dragon Ball Z’s Majin Buu, talks about coping with being the new kid.
Scroll down for some discussion questions you can share with your child plus how to submit your child’s question.
We’ll be back to our regular format next week, answering a question from a kid.
Enter to Win!
Take a photo of your cat or dog with a (real) copy of my new, funny, and useful book, Growing Feelings: A Kids’ Guide to Dealing with Emotions about Friends and Other Kids (for ages 6-12). Post it on social media with the hashtag #GrowingFeelings or email it to me at DrF@EileenKennedyMoore.com. Winners will receive fun pet toys!
Unlock the power of friendship!
Become a free subscriber to get the Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic weekly, 5-minute podcast episodes sent directly to your email plus parent resources.
Join now as a paid subscriber to get even more of the tools you need to support your child's feelings and friendships. You’ll get additional posts for parents, access to the full archive, PLUS, each month, you’ll get access to a live or recorded workshop FOR PARENTS about children’s feelings and friendships at NO ADDITIONAL COST for that month. Topics include Helping Your Anxious Child, Kid Confidence, and so much more.
Join as an all-access subscriber and you’ll get access to all posts PLUS you won’t have to wait: you’ll get access to all workshops for parents AND KIDS as soon as they’re available, and they won’t expire at the end of the month. The all-access membership becomes more valuable over time because I keep adding new workshops. You can see all current workshop topics HERE.
Please help the podcast grow!
If you love the Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic podcast, please help it continue and grow by sending in your child’s question about friendship and by asking your friends to submit their children’s questions. Here are the instructions:
Adults, please use your smartphone's memo function or an audio app to record your child's question. Hold the phone close to your child's mouth to make sure the recording is clear. Have your child state:
Their FIRST NAME (or another name),
Their AGE, and
A BRIEF QUESTION or concern about friendship. (Please do not include any friends' names.)
Email the audio file to DrF@EileenKennedyMoore.com. I’ll answer as many questions as I can. (Obviously, this is not psychotherapy, and it’s not for emergency situations.)
Think About It Questions to discuss with your child
Being “the new kid” can happen when we move homes or when we join a new group or activity. Have you ever felt like “the new kid”? How did you handle that?
Dr. Friendtastic says that common ground is where friendships grow. What does that mean to you? What are some ways to find or create common ground with other kids?
Which activities have you done that have been most helpful to you for making friends?
Being kind doesn’t guarantee that someone will become our friend. Why is it a good idea to be kind, anyway?
Go Deeper!
Want to learn more about how you can support your child’s feelings and friendships? My books and webinars–for parents and kids–give you in-depth understanding and practical, research-based ideas you can use immediately.
Transcript
Hi, I'm Dr. Eileen Kennedy-Moore, an author and clinical psychologist based in Princeton, NJ.
Today we have a visit from a member of Dr. Friendtastic’s Friendship League.
The Friendship League is made up of adults who care about kids and who have volunteered to share with you some memories from when they were a kid about a friendship rough spot they faced plus a kind thing a friend did for them.
Let’s listen!
What’s up?! Josh Martin here, the voice of Dragon Ball Z’s Majin Buu. I have been asked by Dr. Friendtastic to share with you a couple of my experiences with friends when I was a kid.
The first one that comes to mind was a rough spot that I had with a friend or should I say “friends” because I didn't have any because I was the new kid in school you know obviously that is a rough time. I don’t know if you’ve ever experienced that or not, but I’m sure you’ve at least known the new kid and known how awkward that can be.
Well, it was the same for me, but I was able to get through it with honesty and being myself and being considerate of others. You know, I was the new kid. I couldn't be expected to just hop in and be a part of the group. I took my time, paid attention, and eventually, I found those friends that liked the same kind of movies and music. I got into a play and, you know, the rest is history! Some of those friends are still friends to this day!
That brings me to my second experience, which was when a friend did something nice for me. And, because of the way that I've always been– honest, truthful with everyone and myself… Boy, I've done the same for others and they've done the same for me. I've been invited to swim parties, vacations, go to the lake, you know, or just over for ice cream, or spend the night, or whatever.
You know, I've been fortunate to have a lot of friends do a lot of nice things for me, and they continue to do that. And I believe that’s because being nice, being honest, being considerate, doing what you can for others…you'll get it back.
No, I'm no doctor. Listen to Dr. Friendtastic…or I’ll turn you to chocolate and eat cha! Hahahaha!
Wow, Josh! You covered so many important ideas about friendship.
A lot of us have been “the new kid.” My family moved a fair bit when I was growing up, so I know how hard it can be to feel like an outsider!
I like how you took your time and looked around to find kids who had similar interests to you. That common ground is where friendships grow.
And getting involved in the play… What a great idea! Kids make friends by doing fun things together. So, even though it might feel uncomfortable at first, getting involved, doing activities, or working on projects together are all great ways to make new friends or deepen the friendships you already have.
I also like how you emphasized being honest and kind. We tend to get back from the world what we send out. Kindness is definitely the key to friendship. And for you, it opened up lots of fun opportunities.
Being kind to someone doesn’t guarantee that person will become our friend, but it shows that we’re open to friendship, which can be a good start. And it also makes us feel good to know we’re doing the right thing.
I’ll be back next week with a question about friendship from a kid. If you have a question about making and keeping friends that you’d like me to answer, go to DrFriendtastic.com, and click on the podcast tab to see how to submit your question.
And be sure to check out my books for kids about friendship: Growing Friendships: A Kids’ Guide to Making and Keeping Friends, and my new book, Growing Feelings: A Kids’ Guide to Dealing with Emotions About Friends and Other Kids. They’re available through your library or wherever you buy books.
Dr. Friendtastic's Friendship League: Josh Martin